|
rosa_the_awesome
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: rosa
Gender: Female
Interests: Reading, soccer, swimming, warm weather, traveling, money, singing, painting, bike riding, ultimate frisbee etc
Expertise: complaining, eating, sleeping, curling my tongue into unusual shapes
Occupation: lover
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
2/17/2006
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| Rosa: wants to go home. wants to go home. wants to go home. wants to go home. wants to go home. wants to go home. wants to go home. wants to go home. wants to go home. wants to go home. wants to go home. wants to go home. wants to go home. wants to go home.
Where is home?
| | |
| Listening to Coldplay. All that noise, all that sound...birds go flyin' at the speed of sound.
I have no idea what that's supposed to mean, but the song floods my hippocampus with memories. On days like today, rainy and boring, I feel like life has passed me by. I know; it's not true. I've got so much ahead of me. I can't see it though. I still have no concrete plans. I think back to high school though, even last summer. Was that it? Those were my carefree days of lounging in the sun, calling friends for a romp at Meijer, not worrying about paying bills and tuition? Why did I spend that whole time complaining about being bored? Now, I would give so much to just be on that Flat River Trail with a friend soaking in the sun as we walk and laugh about our unknowingly easy classes. These days everything comes with a worry. A serious worry. I want a break...can I get it off of work? Can I afford not to work? Why am only working one day a week?! I'd like to go home. I'd like to sit on my front porch and watch the sunset. Can I afford to buy the gasoline it takes for the two hour trip? Do I have enough time? It doesn't matter. I don't have a car anymore. How will I get anywhere? I don't work enough to actually get a new one. Okay, so focus on classes. Classes. What the hell am I taking them for? What will I do with my valuable and ever-so pricey knowledge?
Never-ending associations. One worry leads to the next. All leading to the worst of all: this is it. This is the pattern of life.
There's nothing you can do. You will never be care-free again. And when you were, you took it for granted...worrying about prom, tennis practice, skanky ex-girlfriends, TPing. Hah.
I guess I'm just depressed about my recent accident. I did nothing wrong, yet, a huge hassle burst into my life. My life already filled with things to worry about. I know there was a reason. Or it could have been worse.
It still sucks.
Just laying on the dock at the lake. Taking in deep breaths of warmed summer air.
| | |
| I simply cannot fathom the inconsistency. At first, I get angry. I swear and shake my head at the articles so widely distributed making the new administrations new goals as honorable and brave. “How!? Why?? Why can’t they understand that they’re wrong!” Then, I just grow frustrated and sad, feeling insignificant. I just cannot seem to understand a few things.
People are claiming that a reversal of the ‘conscience rule’ is a step forward in “reproductive rights/health,” but what does that do to a healthcare worker’s right to belief and religion? Are you kidding me? If the Obama administration succeeds in rescinding this protective law, doctors and nurses will be given two choices: 1) do something they might not believe is ethical or 2) lose their job. Women need their “rights,” but healthcare workers do not? Rights my ass.
Mr. Obama has already overturned the ‘global gag rule.’ The result: our tax dollars are funding international “planned parenthood” programs. Our money, whether you agree or disagree with abortion, is funding abortions in other countries. It boggles my mind.
Not only will we continue to allow a highly controversial process to be legal, we’re going to force people against their beliefs to perform it and require the rest of you to hand over some money so we can pay to have it performed here and oversees.
And don’t get me started on the disgusting marketing scheme planned parenthood has banked on (oops, I’m started). “Reproductive health….reproductive rights.” If you don’t know already, PP is NOT nonprofit. The average abortion costs $475. That’s not chump change if you ask me. If you want to take care of your health (I don’t know when the natural process of pregnancy became some sort of disease) and practice your sexual rights then do us all a favor and THINK before you have unprotected sex. Think about the consequences that come with the fun and joy of banging. If you’re not responsible enough for the natural purpose and result of sex, then DON’T do it! That would be a hell of a lot more healthy!
Gah! It drives me crazy!
We will save the planet. Save the whales. Donate to animal shelters. Refuse to eat meat and cheese. Protest war. Yet…we’ll look away when our own people are being killed. Because they are unwanted --> love for a person is completely and uttlerly denied. Since when did we acquire the godly powers to decide who may have a fair chance at life and who may not?
Because you know, it’s a blob of tissue when it’s not wanted, and a baby when it is.
Did you know that abortion is legal throughout all nine months of pregnancy in the US? ALL nine months. I understand this is a difficult subject. But just because something is difficult to talk about or hard to think about, doesn’t mean it should be avoided. Do talk about it; do think about it. I’m urging you to reevaluate your opinions. Would you awkwardly look away if you saw a newborn being thrown into a dumpster? No. Is it ok to terminate a pregnancy at nine months? You’re probably saying no way. What about eight? Seven, six? Of course not. So tell me why it’s legal? Even “non viable” babies can survive outside the womb (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17237979/). Yet fetuses at this age are terminated all the time. Yes, it’s true that the majority of abortions in the US are performed at under ten weeks. But where do you draw the line? When is it okay to kill a fetus? A growing life with it’s own blood type, it’s own human DNA. I agree, at the very earliest stages none of us looked very “human,” but there’s just no practical place to draw the line (except conception) on when a person’s rights begin. It is too controversial. On one end, a life is being killed, on the other side the issue is womanly" health" (let me remind you that less than 1% of abortions performed are due to health complications of the mother). Tell me, which is worse. It seems as though if there was some sort of debate on this issue, our conscience would tell us to choose the safer side while it is being debated. So please tell me why, although the majority of people disagree with abortion, the government is taking control and choosing the one more deadly?
The answer:
Greed. It's a money making business.
Selfishness. They want complete immunity from tough consequences, and they want to live as they wish, take the easy way out.
Mental laziness. Seriously, people don't want to consider what is actually being done. They don't want to think about it and so it continues.
It’s fucking ridiculous.
| | |
| "And yes, most of all to believing, truly, that worrying gets you no where; God knows what the future holds and He would never give me something I could not handle."
I know it. I don't feel it. What I do feel is my heart being torn up. According to Rob Stein of the Washington Post, and other researchers I assume, dying of a broken heart is all too real and "a traumatic breakup, the death of a loved one or even the shock of a surprise party can unleash a flood of stress hormones that can stun the heart, causing sudden, life-threatening heart spasms in otherwise healthy people...." I am not going to die of a broken heart, but I do feel the pain. I was a bubbling spewing boiling stew of emotions -fear, sadness, pride, nostalgia, anger- now, I am simmering. Why me? Why do I have to deal with this situation? Why can't it be easier? It's always been hard, and yet I've always felt the push to work through it. I do not want to give up. I do not. It will just get harder and harder. I feel like screaming. I want to just stand in the middle of Huron Street and scream until my lungs give. I want to scream and stamp my feet. I want to scream at Kevin for doing this to me. I want to hug him and never let go. I want to be supportive. I want to know the truth. I want to know what will happen. I want to know what I should do. I feel like I'm not real. I walk to campus and it's not real. I don't know where I'm going. I'm just walking. and it's fictional; it's a standstill; it's not right. I want to know where I am walking to. I don't want to be alone.
Either way. Either choice. I lose. I lose.
I miss my friends.
I miss my family.
I miss Kevin.
| | |
|
